An Exercise in Trust

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In the stereotypical drama class they do a thing call “trust exercises”. Generally speaking this means partnering up with someone from the class… You turn your back to them… let yourself fall… and the idea is to trust your partner enough to catch them. If you are working with someone you know fairly well… falling into them is easy enough… but if it’s someone you don’t know.. you hesitate.. and as you fall you take a step backward.

I feel like I’ve been doing this with myself constantly for the past few months. Metabolisms are very adaptable… but they don’t like to be fooled. When you seek to lose weight on a low calorie diet… chances are you will see some sort of success… the expense of this is that because you have been eating less, you metabolism has slowed. Trying to correct this imbalance can be tricky. When you start to eat more, your metabolism scoffs at you… thinking that this special treatment won’t last… and does its best to hold on to as much of that extra yumminess it can… you see it as a water weight gain on the scale. Instantly you’re convinced that you are going to continue to gain weight if you continue to eat more.. you panic… and then you prove your metabolism right by cutting calories again.

I realized last night that I inadvertantly did this when I got my wisdom teeth removed. Due to a lack of appetite and the sheer inability to eat most things I was eating 1100-1200 calories for a week… after eating 1400-1600 for almost three weeks.  So when I started to eat normally again, my metabolism didn’t think it would last.. it hesitated… took that step back… and starting hanging on to the extra nourishment.

I was frustrated. Yesterday I decided to take a day off from working out. I decided to cut back my food for the day because I didn’t trust my metabolism enough. I hesitated.. and I realize now the that was probably a bad idea.

So starting today my metabolism and I are going to learn to trust eachother. I’m setting my calorie goal to 1600 and I am going to try to get within 50 or so calories of that goal everyday no matter what exercise I do… even if I don’t exercise. My metabolism has to be able to trust me to feed it what it needs to matter what. I’m going to increase that goal slowly up to the 1700s in preparation for NROL4W.. hopefully by the time I start I will be able to trust my metabolism… and it will be able to trust me.. so we can both stop hesitating and finally work together toward the ultimate goal of a long and healthy life.

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